Not many people get to marry their middle school crush. (Sort of crush. Sort of couldn’t stand him.)

When I was thirteen years old, I met Richard, and I wasted no time. I grew up really into the whole courtship thing so at fourteen I pulled him aside and told him that he had better be willing to marry me if he was going to come after me, to which he replied that he was in fact going to marry me. Adorable.

Perhaps we (I) jumped the gun…but look where we are now.

You can read about how we fell in love here.

I was eighteen and Richard was nineteen on the day we married.

The model I’ve always had for marriage came from my parents–who have thirty years on us which, of course, occurred to me, but their marriage is what I had known my whole life. Also, I had just graduated from high school and marriage is hardly one of the core subjects.

I had to learn the hard way that being married to a teenager is not the same as being married someone in their twenties or thirties. My husband is a hunk; he is responsible, mature, thoughtful and romantic. He provides for us and works fantastically hard to allow all my crazy dreams to come to fruition.

Teenagers who are barely out of high school have a lot to learn though. Five years, many long nights working through arguments, three kids, and a whole lot of Trader Joe’s Gyoza later, we still have a lot to learn. We’ll be learning for the rest of our lives!

But what a joy marriage is.

Young wives, expectations have been the biggest issue in our marriage. I walked into marriage expecting my husband to be the same as my father. My husband walked into marriage expecting to live his life the same as he had when he was single but with a wife to come home to at night. Both of us experienced a serious wake up call. Before we were married we went through premarital counseling, I read all the books, talked to older married women–I prepared myself and I believe I was ready as I could be, but I did not prepare my expectations. 

Today brings a new season in life. After five moves as a family, instability is we’ve ever known, and yet we always seem to find a way to thrive. The amount I have learned in the past five years has been immeasurable and I wish someone had shared that wisdom with me. My goal here is to write about my experiences and pray God uses my story to prepare the engaged fiance, encourage the young and frazzled wife, or uplift the couple struggling because marriage isn’t like they thought it would be.

Plus, did I mention what a joy marriage is?

I want to share the crazy stories, the lessons I’ve learned, the ways we’ve found to keep our romance on fire with a baby demanding our attention all the stinking time. We are best friends forever and we believe marriage is an investment that is not only hugely rewarding but hugely fun. 

When I was eighteen and felt so different from all my peers, I needed someone to relate to. I don’t know your stories, backgrounds, or situation, but I know marriage is one of the greatest wars you will ever wage and I hope that my own war, victory, and continuous struggle will encourage you.

Not a step in our marriage has come easily.

Not a single step, friends.

But God has worked a miracle with my husband and I, and we are proof that God restores. I’ve never been more in love, and I’ve never been more thankful.

Come walk with me, friend. Brew yourself a cup of Earl Grey and laugh with me. Cry if you so desire. Learn from me, and I pray that you are encouraged, whatever path your marriage is on.

There is no journey more precious.