Yes, I’ve been keeping a fairly huge secret from the world. Or a tiny one, rather. One that’s been kicking and rolling and making my back hurt all kinds of crazy for the last nine months.

Isn’t she perfect?

Meet Alia Joy Brake, born Monday at 5:15pm, weighing 6lbs 4oz and 19.5 inches long.

You know, it wasn’t easy keeping this precious little one a secret from the world for 37 weeks. Especially when we found out our sweet boy was getting a sister we wanted to tell everyone–but we didn’t. Life is much more fun with itty-bitty, squishy, gurgling surprises.

I’ll be honest, when I found out we were having another baby, I was hoping for a boy. My little dude is all about sticks and trucks and wrestling, and the one time he got a hold of a Barbie, he picked her up by her hair and threw her across the room as he giggled in glee. We surely never taught him that–he’s simply boy, through and through. I get little boys. They fall over and get back up like it never happened. They laugh when they roll off the sofa and land on their face. If you smack them in the head with a giant pillow, they think it’s a game that they now want to play forever.

Not so with little girls.

Of course there are some daughters who lean more towards that, but I have many friends with little girls and if you handed that girl a Barbie, she would clutch it gently and have tea parties with it. If you knocked her off the sofa with a giant pillow swiftly to the face, she would not squeal in delight. God created girls differently than boys and while girls don’t all have the same interests, their femininity sure makes it a whole different ball game. I was happy being a boy mom.

Then at 20 weeks through my pregnancy, the ultrasound technician gave us the news–a girl!

Wait, what?!

Of course I knew there was a fifty percent chance we would have a girl, but I had never seriously considered the possibility. I had thought until that moment I wanted to stay a boy mom, but the second I found out I had a daughter, I knew what my heart had truly been longing for. My sweet baby girl, Alia.

We were going to announce it to the world then, but we were already halfway to the finish line. Also, Alia was due on April 3rd and posting a picture of my TWO children would have been the best April not-Fool’s Day post in history. The pregnancy announcement pictures were even taken…and then I decided so much of my life is on social media, I run my business from social media–in fact, my husband’s family had found out we were expecting due to a post on a Facebook page I thought was private and secret–and I didn’t want my pregnancy on social media.

Through my blog, I share my marriage and parenting struggles. I share the days I end up in bed crying. I share the ways I’ve failed as a wife and mom. It’s taught me some very valuable lessons about being vulnerable and while I am so thankful I have a platform where I can share my life and encourage other women, I just wanted something to myself.

That is why, friends, that you’re now seeing pictures of a beautiful baby girl you didn’t even know spent the last nine months cooking. Of course our family knew, our friends knew, I told anyone I talked to because I was so excited, and anyone who saw me definitely knew because my belly was not small! Only social media didn’t know, and some sweet friends who I have happened to not see or talk to for the last nine months. Please don’t take it personally if you had no idea; consider it a surprise! You are most definitely special to me, but nine months passed too quickly.

I am so, so thankful for this sweet girl and the blessing she is to our family. She’s been an amazing blessing the last nine months too–two years ago when I was pregnant with my son, there were a few times I told the Lord (in jest–hah) to just take me home; I was that miserable. You can read all about it here but basically I was in and out of the hospital and spent most of those nine months in bed or in front of the toilet. There was heartburn so bad it caused talk of removing my gallbladder, multiple trips to the hospital, and constant exhaustion. At 37 weeks my husband left for five months, at 38 weeks I moved out of our apartment by myself, and at 39 weeks my little boy finally made his appearance.

Crazy pregnancy? You bet.

It’s not normal to be as sick as I was, and it’s not normal to miscarry three times either (yep–I’ve had some rough pregnancies) so when I found out I was pregnant with Alia I decided to do everything I could to specifically support healthy hormones using an essential oil blend and friends, let me tell you–I have had zero hormonal symptoms this pregnancy. ZERO. Yes, it has occurred to me that perhaps the issues I’ve had in the past are totally chance and this pregnancy is just different because that does happen, but there have been two times I haven’t used my hormone supporting essential oil–once when I was traveling and the other time when I ran out without realizing–and both times within a day I was throwing up with terrible heartburn and I felt like a raging hormonal lunatic. True story.

I tell you this because if you have a horrible pregnancy like I did with my first, there could be a solution. I also tell you this to praise God for showing me what I needed to for my body to work the way it was intended to, and my pregnancy with Alia was peaceful, beautiful, and one of the most precious times of my life. Now I actually understand how a woman can enjoy being pregnant! It’s a lot easier to keep a brewing baby a secret when you feel fantastic.

There will be more, I promise you. There’s a postpartum end to my series on the birth of my son next (that you now know was inspired by having babies on my mind!) but Alia’s birth story and my pregnancy with her will be coming soon too. You’ll be reading a lot in the upcoming days–I have nine months of keeping this a secret to catch up on, after all.

Now she’s here, and there’s no way we’re keeping it a secret any longer. Praise Jesus for how he worked out the timing perfectly, and praise Jesus for our precious baby girl.

We love you, Alia Joy!