A strange thing has happened to me recently.

I haven’t had any words.

If you know me, you’ll know that is strange. I always have something to say, and especially as a blogger I’ve made it my personal mission to empower, educate, and encourage other young wives and mamas like myself. When I learn hard lessons in parenting or in my marriage, I write about them in hopes that someone else can learn. When I do something silly or fail and decide not to give up, I share it.

And then three weeks ago my husband came home and…it’s been blissful. Long nights drinking tea and catching up on TV shows and cooking together and wrestling with our little boy. Late night walks and toddler events at church and trips to the grocery store filled with laughter and kid sized customer-in-training shopping carts.

No struggle readjusting. No he’s-home-again awkwardness. No pain of my son having forgotten his daddy or any of it. Just a perfect three weeks.

It didn’t feel right to write about it, so I didn’t write at all. How can I empower or encourage anyone when there haven’t been obvious lessons and struggles? There’s no way my readers want to hear all about my happy life!

Last night, my husband asked me why I haven’t been blogging, and I explained it to him. He looked confused and asked me, “Well, why can’t you write about being happy? It’s okay to say that you’ve been having a great time recently.”

Uhh…it is? With all the suffering, all the anger and the tragedies which seem to come new every morning, it feels inappropriate and insensitive to talk about me being…happy. Joy in the face of trails is inspiring but joy in the face of a simple, happy life can feel stale. The military life is full of goodbyes and separation, pain and frustration, loneliness and a culture that can be anything but family-friendly. It’s hardly only the military community who faces the constant struggle of life either–we live in a fallen world and no one escapes that.

In the Bible, Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” I think we can all agree that there is so much mourning around us, and it can make our happiness feel insensitive and misplaced.

It’s important to distinguish the difference between joy and happiness. The definitions are pretty similar–joy is “the feeling of great happiness and pleasure” and happiness is “the state of being happy”–but happiness is usually dependent on our circumstances and joy is transcendent of our circumstances; it is based on Christ. There are many around us who are joyful in the midst of not feeling happy, but there are even more who are simply feeling down in the dumps.

There is a time and a place for everything, and there is certainly a time to be gentle and understanding with those around us who are hurting. There is a also a time that our happiness can be contagious. And joy, not dependent on our circumstances, is always contagious because when people see that we can be joyful because Christ is real and He loves us, they want to know how they can find that constant joy too. What it takes is the wisdom to respond properly and in a way that builds up the people around us who are not feeling happy, whether that’s through compassion and sympathy or cheering them up with your corny jokes.

I’m not sure why my husband had to remind me it’s okay to be happy, but it probably has something to do with how empathetic I am. I feel guilty for being so happy when many around me aren’t, and that’s where the wisdom on how to use happiness and joy to build others up comes in.

Mostly, I’m thankful for God bringing my husband home for at least a little while after many months of him coming and going–but mostly going. Our family is complete again and when I watch my son and husband wrestling and laughing and dancing and I can tangibly feel the love that’s in our home, I feel so exceedingly blessed.

There are no profound lessons to share today except that it’s okay to be happy in the midst of all the suffering around us and with wisdom we can use that wisely to encourage others. It’s not something to feel guilty about; instead, be thankful. There is so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.