As I sit here, typing at the outdated iMac on the desk in my parent’s living room, my hair is frizzy and my makeup is smudged thanks to the unrelenting Malaysian heat. I couldn’t be bothered to put pants back on my son after his afternoon playing in the puddles so he’s only half dressed and I’m scrolling through Facebook and notice a post by a young mom who is thanking her 400,000 followers for their loyalty and dedication.

Her hair is perfect. Her kids are fully dressed. Her husband loves taking ooey-gooey pictures with her and they constantly write about how in love and happy they are. All her mirror selfies make her look she spent hours on her makeup and she definitely could have been in a model in the different life. Of course her life doesn’t always look like this–she only shows us the best of it–but she has two young kids. How on earth does she do it?

I stumbled across this young wife and mom on Facebook after she went viral for sharing a cute video of her and her husband who were high school sweethearts and overcome all the odds, and I’ll admit I’ve peeked at her pictures more than one time. How does she look like that when she spends her days running after two young children? She even looks cute and put together in her “I woke up like this” selfies. I, for one, do not “look like this” after a night of tossing and turning.

The further I scroll, the more I can’t help but notice that this mother’s story is remarkably similar to my own.

As someone who runs a business largely through social media, of course I want to know why she has almost half a million Facebook followers and I have less than 400. I try to take adorable pictures of my kid and my camera is always a close companion during family outings.

That’s pretty much where the similarities stop.

The majority of my days are spent at home alone in tank tops and the black maternity shorts that are so comfortable I still haven’t put them away 15 months later. Sometimes I take selfies, but they’re only because if I don’t take pictures of myself with my son, nobody will. My husband is a firm believer in not taking many pictures, especially during special moments. He calls it “focusing on the moment” and the reality is that he would rather frame a memory in his mind than in a photo on the wall. It’s not wrong, it just leads to very few pictures.

It’s runs deeper than that, of course. Nobody likes talking about why we are so often drawn to these seemingly perfect Instagram and Facebook accounts. Sometimes the pictures are simply fantastic and we love to admire beauty. Sometimes every post brings genuine value to our lives. But sometimes I find myself trying to vicariously live the perfect life through their perfect pictures. Maybe they’ll inspire me to be better (read: put on my makeup every morning before I go to the grocery store) or be more attentive as a mom (sit my toddler on the counter and bake chocolate chip cookies for them as they adorably cover themselves in flour) or love my husband more (post date night selfies accompanied by all the reasons I’m into him).

But often the only reason I’m inspired, if it happens at all, is because I compare myself to other people in the same walk of life as me and I don’t look like them so I feel like I need to try harder. I need to be more like them.

You can hardly call that “inspiration.”

The reality is that the perfect Instagram post usually takes a hundred shots, professional makeup, or a Photoshop filter. Seriously–go check some of the models who have been brave enough to show what’s really behind their “perfect” life. It’s a whole lot of work–a whole lot of time spent putting their best foot forward. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these people genuinely do live these “perfect” lives.

Our family simply doesn’t work like that. I wish I cared enough to do my makeup impeccably every morning and spend the money on a gorgeous haircut or cute crop tops and picture perfect lattes. But I don’t.

Even thinking about it now makes me feel inadequate. I’m not like them–does it mean I need to be doing more? The battle is endless.

Thankfully, I know there’s an easy fix.

It’s closing out of Facebook or Instagram or whatever social media platform, turning off my phone, and reconnecting with my real life. The life right in front of me–my beautiful son, my incredible husband, the wonderful home in which I live, the church we love dearly, and the business that I’m working so hard to build.

As first, it’s hard to feel like I’m “missing out” but all it takes is literally deciding to turn off my phone and putting it in a different room and then I’m fine.

Turn off your phone? Put it away?? Funny how that sounds like a crazy concept, right?

Putting away my phone is all it takes to stop comparing myself to the ideal Instagram wife, the model mom on Facebook who genuinely seems flawless.

Then I look around at my own life and realise that it’s okay not to be like them. Our family is incredibly blessed to be able to travel (although usually not as a family) and my husband cooks the best Saturday morning breakfasts in the world. The home we bought is perfect for us and even though we dress simply and my son is rarely clothed, we’re completely satisfied with where we are as a family. God has blessed us immensely and we don’t need professional pictures, perfect hair, and sappy love notes documented on social media. It’s cute–but it’s not for us.

We know how blessed we are regardless of whether or not we look perfect on Instagram.

All that being said, my 15 month old is probably the cutest kid who has ever been birthed. I may or may not be slightly biased, but his tiny face does belong right up there with the best of them.

Alas, that’s about as far as it goes with our family. I’m never going to be the perfect mom with a full face of makeup, smudge-less lipstick, and nothing but adorable family pictures to share. In fact, when we get a family picture, it’s nothing short of a miracle.

That’s okay. We may not be particularly Instagrammable, but we are pretty darn content.

Ps. Since I’m talking about not being Instagrammable, I might as well show you the one family picture I have that’s pretty great, if I do say so myself.