It’s been almost five weeks since my husband left due to the Marine Corps having big plans for him. I can’t believe it–I’m quite sure it’s been the fastest five weeks in history–and I also can’t believe that means my husband will be home very soon.

But perhaps the thing I can’t believe most of all is how much I’ve enjoyed myself since he left.

Don’t let me lose you yet, okay? I know it might sound crazy. Everyone says to make the most of the time your service members is gone but they can’t mean actually really enjoy yourself because if you truly loved your husband it would be impossible to live life to the fullest while he was gone–at least that’s how I’m tempted to feel. I’m almost embarrassed to admit what a great time I’ve had since my husband left.

Here’s the thing: I am crazy in love in with my husband and I am not complete when he is gone. We are one–he is my other half–so when he’s not around there’s something missing in my life and in my son’s life and that doesn’t go away just because we’re having a great time.

Oh, but we really are having a blast over here.

My husband and I share one car between us. I could tell you the sob story about how we bought a motorcycle and the title wasn’t notarized properly and then the previous owners dropped off the face of the planet and we can’t find them so we can’t register the bike and it’s now been sitting in our garage, unrideable, for nearly a year, but all it really boils down to is that Hubby drives the car to work and I stay home with the toddler. All day, every day. Sometimes I literally won’t leave the house except to walk around the neighborhood for a whole week and I never really cared until this past month when I had the car during the day and oh, the freedom! 

We take spontaneous trips to the grocery store to aimlessly wander the aisles. We go to Plato’s Closet to buy mama new clothes just because we can. We go to story time at the library twice a week. We take any excuse we can to go pick up cupcakes from our local bakery. We jump in the car and drive hours to see air shows and visit friends we knew in Malaysia and California.

In a few days I’m not going to have the car anymore and we’ll be back to hanging out at home. It’s nothing to lament over, especially because I have my business and great friends in the neighborhood, but it’s still going to be a sad adjustment back to normal life.

There’s more than just the freedom to get around that we’ve been enjoying. I eat what I want and sleep when I want and watch what I want and listen to what I want and honestly, I would much rather share all those things with my husband, but I’m not going to lie, a few weeks of not having to cooking a meat with dinner to satisfy my favorite carnivore wasn’t the end of the world. I don’t have to do laundry every few days to wash piles and piles of green on greens and I haven’t had to pack a lunch in weeks, not to mention there are no boots tracking sand all over my clean floors every afternoon and I don’t have to share my bed with a large human who takes up lots of space.

This is not a mini deployment. It might be mini, mini deployment length and I might not have contact with him and he might be in another country, but his life isn’t in immediate danger and I think that’s the biggest difference. When the doorbell rings, there is no moment of panic and reading the news doesn’t make me anxious–I imagine the emotional burden of knowing (or not knowing if) my husband is in danger will be the greatest challenge when our deployment comes next year.

But there will be other challenges too, and I imagine that this five weeks is a little taste of what that’s going to be like.

And you know what? We survived. Not only did we survive but we had an absolute ball–so much so that I’m nervous about my husband coming home and how I’m going to readjust to life as no-longer-somewhat-single person.

Ultimately, I don’t want to be a somewhat single person, and by that what I don’t mean is a person who gets to act like they’re unmarried, I mean a person who still loves and honors their spouse with all their decisions but gets to pretty much do what they want beyond that.

There was lots of freedom, sure, but sharing life with my husband trumps not having to cook meat and having almost no laundry any day. I would rather watch a movie he loves and cuddle up on the sofa next to him than flop down on the sofa by myself with a whole pint of Halo Top ice cream and watch Hallmark movies (this is only a partial truth) and I would rather sweep sand from his boots off the floor twice a day than…gouge out my eyeballs or eat ratatouille and that’s about it because the sand seriously drives me crazy, but I think you’re getting my gist.

Sharing life with your best friend is always better than doing it alone, even if it does mean a whole lot of sharing.

Wives, if your military husband is leaving for the first time and you’re not sure if you can handle it, I promise that you can. There will always be those days you just need to push through to the end of the day to stay sane, but this is an opportunity for so much more. Your husband being gone is a freedom you might not want (I would choose my husband over “freedom” any day!) but it’s still a freedom you can absolutely enjoy. You can rock this somewhat single person thing!

I feel slightly guilty about what a great time I’ve had with my little guy these past fives weeks–because how could I enjoy myself so much when my husband is gone? But I know my husband is proud of me for spending this time making mommy friends and getting connected in our church and learning about the area and eating lots of cupcakes.

He comes home very soon and while I’m a little sad this sweet time of freedom with my boy is coming to an end, I am absolutely ready for my husband to be home.

We’ll see you soon, babe!