The trip went without a hitch until about 1,600 miles in when the huge black truck in front of me was only going 55 on a 55 single lane mountain highway. I had six hours to drive, and driving exactly the speed limit was simply unacceptable. 5 over is fine so 5 over is what I wanted to do.

Far in the distance I saw a car speeding towards me but it was a long way off–I knew it was my chance to pass this ginormous truck so I floored it and sped around him as fast as I could to get out of the way of the oncoming traffic. I then proceeded to set my cruise control at 5mph over the speed limit and I was happy.

That is, until I looked in my rear view mirror. The huge black truck that had been going so slowly before was right behind me. As in I couldn’t even see his headlights he was so close right behind me.

All I could picture was a big burly man in the driver’s seat, mad because a dinky orange car tried to pass him in his very intimidatingly sized vehicle. Was he trying to intimidate me? I sped up to put distance in between us. After a few miles, the road once again branched into two lanes and I pulled to the right side for the truck to pass. Only the truck wouldn’t pass me–he continued to tail me and it was obvious I was being followed.

I proceeded to do what any normal person would do and I put my foot down on the accelerator to try to put more distance in between him and me–I even capped it at going 15mph over the speed limit because I was working hard to find the balance between outrunning an angry burly man and following the law.

Still the truck stayed on my tail. In my defense, I didn’t fly down the road like I wanted to. 15mph over the speed limit in a 55 zone is really not that fast and if there had been no speed limit I would have been going much faster–surely, though, the truck would have been able to keep up.

I imagined being squashed flat by those massive wheels. My baby was in the back seat–I couldn’t be squashed! This obviously was a very touchy guy for him to follow me that far just for passing him.

And then the red and blue lights started flashing.

Well, poop.

It was an unmarked cop car. Seriously?! Of all the vehicles I could have passed it just had to be a cop. God really does have a sense of humor.

This is where my cute baby enters the story. As I sat in the driver’s seat imagining being thrown in jail for the rest of my life, my sweet boy sat in the back seat sleeping with a half smile on his little face. He was so cute.

Why wouldn’t the cop get out of his car and come to haul me off for life already? My license was clean. I didn’t have drugs in the car. There was nothing left to check–what was he waiting for?

Thankfully, my husband once explained to me what to do if I ever got pulled over. Get my license out beforehand, keep my hands on the wheel, move slowly. When the officer finally peering in my window, that is exactly what I did and he appreciated my care and respect. Woohoo. And then he noticed the sweet baby in the back and his face broke into a huge smile.

“How old is he?”

“Almost eight months,” I answered, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice.

“Well, I don’t want to freeze that poor baby out. I’m not going to give you a ticket, I’m only going to growl at you–”

HALLELUJAH! PRAISE THE LORDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!

“–because you were going much to fast. Where are going that you are in such a rush?”

Instead of telling him the whole story, I simply told him I had been driving six hours that day and I just wanted to get to my destination. That is why I passed him, after all. In hindsight, I should have just told him I noticed him following me and it made me nervous, but I didn’t want him to think I was trying to outrun a cop because that is a big no-no. I drive a lot and I have become quite skilled and picking out cop cars in my rearview mirror, but seeing as this truck was entirely unmarked I really didn’t stand a chance. I am a law abiding citizen who utilized cruise control to make sure my lead foot doesn’t get the better of me regularly, but when I see the lights on the car I like to double check my speed just to be sure.

The very friendly officer smiled again at my son and let me off with a warning. I then set my cruise control at the speed limit and drove extra cautiously the rest of the way home.

But I was reminded of two things: First, unless they’re having a bad day, police officers really aren’t out to get people in trouble. And second, the next time I see a scary looking vehicle tailing me, the solution is not to try to outrun it. It might be a cop.

Learn from my story, y’all. Merry almost-Christmas!